I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No

I know that some of you are singing (I am) and others are thinking unkind things about me.  Singers, have at it. The rest of you, now, now.  I’ve been a very good girl for a very long time. For those of you who knew me way back when, let’s keep those stories untold!  In truth, I’m working very hard at knowing when to decline a request and how to feel okay about it. Trust me, it’s taking some effort. I have the hardest time saying no to people I like but guess what? If they really like me, my refusing a position on a committee shouldn’t change it.

I’ve found that two emotions come into play when asked to join a committee, participate in a musical program or help out in general. First, I’m extremely flattered and my ego is inflated. Second, I feel guilty because I want to say no and am afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. I was saying yes more often than was feasible or even good for me. After the euphoria of being chosen for something, panic would set in. How in the world was I going to add one more thing to my already busy schedule? How many nights did I really want to be out after a full work day? How was I going to tell John that I committed to yet another activity without telling him first? On that, we have a deal. Before I say yes to anything, I run it by him. This isn’t for permission (Heaven forbid) but because it helps me see the big picture. I get so excited when asked to do seemingly fun things, I often forget to consider the time required.

I’m starting to see a change.  There are only so many available hours in my days. I have to work, sleep and spend quality time at home. Missing my gym time is no longer negotiable. If I commit to participating, I want to give it my best.  Right now choir rehearsals for High Holidays have begun along with ones for a short play I’m in and a storytelling program. This is plenty. By mid-October I’ll be wiped out. So if you ask me to be part of something, please know that I’m thrilled you asked and that it’s not easy for me to say no.  I often agonize over my decision. Please keep asking.  I just may say yes the next time.

 

About Julie Brandon

60ish poet/playwright/blogger living near the Windy City
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1 Response to I’m Just A Girl Who Can’t Say No

  1. Maureen Navadomskis says:

    It’s good to find balance and I know how hard that can be. I’m always dogged by the old feeling that ‘Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor’ & feel compelled to do everything that is thrown in my path, for fear that I won’t get that chance again. I think the young folks these days call it ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out). Life is so short & the world is so big – I don’t want to miss anything.
    But, as you said, when I spread myself too thin, then nothing gets the attention it needs. Here’s to finding balance & still living life to the full!

    Like

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