Ah, the dreaded “W” word. When I was younger, I didn’t worry about it very much. I was naturally slim and ate what I wanted with little or no consequences. But time changed that. When I quit smoking, I gained a little. Then I had babies and gained a little more. Nothing to be concerned about. I started taking certain medication about the same time I started menopause and all bets were off. 50 lbs. Yes, suddenly I weighed 50 lbs. more and was the heaviest I had ever been. My life was too crazy to worry about it and it just settled in for the long haul. I had assumed it would be temporary but this was not to be. I love good food and believed that somehow, some day, the extra pounds would all magically disappear. Unfortunately, the weight loss fairy never found me. I did move around a lot and I figured that she had lost my address. Fast forward 20 years.
One day when I was feeling pretty good about myself and the world at large, someone asked me if I was expecting. My first thought that was that she was crazy. After all, I was 54 years old and she knew it. My second thought was that I must be fat beyond words. Despondent, depressed and in despair are only a few of the feelings that assailed me. I had been leaving out milkshakes and cookies for the weight loss fairy to no avail. There was a conspiracy between the mirrors in my house to keep the truth from me. I was overweight and not getting any thinner. Of course, I did what most clear thinking people would do. I ate myself silly for 3 more months until even my largest clothes were too tight.
So I bit the bullet (sans sugar) and joined Weight Watchers. It hasn’t been easy. There are days that I hate it and just want to eat every sugary thing I can find. But that would be silly and a serious waste of the money spent every month. The progress has been slow but steady and no one has asked me when the baby is due. It’s up to me to make positive changes. If the weight loss fairy showed up today, I’d thank her kindly and show her the door. There are times that magic isn’t the answer and this is one of them.
It’s a brave thing to look clearly at yourself and realize that you (as opposed to the rest of the world) need to change. Good for you for facing your concerns and then taking the Very Hard steps necessary to effect the change you want! But remember too… no matter how much you weigh, no matter what you look like, it is the beautiful you inside that shines out!